Memories of my mum from when I was a child l, and sewing, somewhat came hand in hand. Not just sewing but a creative eye for clothing. I don't think she would really say she has any interest in fashion; not really when compared to her other passions of gardening and reading. Those truly are the loves of her life. Mum was born in 1952, growing up in her early teen years through the 60s. At the age of 16 she was a hairdressing apprentice working in London Soho. Can you imagine the things and the fashion she saw? I often wonder what London would have looked like back then, the fashion, music and culture of that time and in that place?

However, she grew up in an incredibly religious household. No gigs, no dates, and 3 older brothers.

I would say this is when her love for fashion probably began. A way to rebel against the restraints that were put upon her. I remember her telling me a story of her being in her teens and not wanting to go to church anymore, so she decided to wear a white crochet top, without a bra. Of course, I believe my Nan would have lost her damn mind but as it turns out, because of this act of rebellion Mum didn't have to go to church anymore. This was her way to silently protest against her mother and the boundaries that were being created for her. A way of expressing her feelings about it without actually saying it. Trying to explain the woman she wanted to become. A battle I feel she never really won.

She was a single mum trying her best and was so good at whipping something up out of nowhere. For example, every year we would have Book Day at school. My brother & I would have free rein to come up with whatever we wanted to be. Mum, who absolutely could not just go to a costume shop and buy something, would always manage to fandangle something together for us. I wanted to be a mouse one year, so she made a paper mache head from a balloon & sewed fur into an all in one suit for me. When my brother wanted to be Frankensteins Monster she made him some shoes from large shoe boxes, and my Tinkerbell got some wings made out of wire coat hangers. I actually think she may have enjoyed the challenge.

The best photo I could find of me as Tinkerbell

I imagine her teaching me to sew was a free activity she could keep me busy with. Before even learning to sew she would busy me with organising buttons into colour or size. I would unwind her wool and she would knit in the evenings. I truly think that there is nothing Mum couldn't knit. I used to be so impressed she would sit and watch TV while still knitting, making no mistakes and not missing a beat of what was happening on Eastenders. The outlet that sewing gave me has been life changing. A skill that is not only practical but a space to unleash creativity. I often forget that not everyone knows how to do it, and when I say “Ahh I could just make you that” I'm met with a baffled and shocked look, followed by a “You know how to do that?”

I grew into my teens and developed more of an interest in fashion I started to create my own style.
I was obviously heavily influenced by growing up in the 2000s, low rise jeans, the boho style of earth tones and puddle jeans. I also became very interested in 60s fashion, e.g Babydoll dresses, knee high white boots and loud over the top prints.

I would try to combine styles from both decades, making babydoll dresses but wearing them with Converse Chucks, or I would add a 60s style embroidery to the pocket or hem of my puddle jeans.

I remember this could be met with disgust from my friends asking “why can't you just wear what everyone else was wearing?”. Well, luckily for me I had a mum who had filled me with such confidence in myself I simply did not care what my friends or other people thought of me. Yes of course I had moments in my teens of self doubt and self confidence, but I would come home and talk to Mum. My perspective was changed by the one thing she would say, “Your clothes shouldnt wear you”.

I then saw clothes as a way of expression, a way to rebel from what everyone else thought I should be wearing and all I cared about was how I felt in my clothes. Did they portray the mood I was feeling? Was I comfortable? Was I wearing something purely because of what others may have thought about me? Self confidence is not an easy thing to manage and it's not something you get one day and never have to worry about again. It is a daily, weekly, monthly thing you have to work on. It definitely changed as I got older. What I want to say through my style and clothes has changed but that's ok because I have changed too. If I put something on and it doesn't feel right I try to ask myself “Why doesn't this feel right for me today?”

Before moving to New Zealand I definitely went through a dark period where I didnt know what I wanted from my life in all aspects. Whether that be career, love, or where I was living. I had no idea what would make me happy but I knew whatever I was doing was helping things. I unknowingly pushed myself into a corner, one of which I did not know how to get out of. I kept saying to myself “The only person I am spending my whole life with is me, so I better like her!”. Every decision I have made since then has been to better myself and my life. This gives you confidence! It's ok if you don't know what you like, what you want or even what you don't want but standing still doesn't help you to work these things out.

I guess what I have been trying to say is there are 100 things that go into “your style”, from your life experiences, the movies and music you like, to the way you want to live your life, and your morals. All these things and more can affect the way you look at yourself and your style. My opinion on fashion and style doesn't really matter, what matters is how it makes YOU feel. Life is too short to be comparing yourself to others.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

If it makes you happy, then it shouldn’t really matter what others think or feel about it, should it?

Finding a style that “fits”

Film Inspired Fashion

Sewing and I part 1